the last time i felt this way, was a few years (2?) ago, back then when i was still with the ex.
(so ive never mentioned him here for a really long time and not that ive been thinking about him whatsoever)
and that was when i realized how things were going the wrong way because, jaded was wrong. jaded wasnt the feelings i should have had at that point of time. since i was supposed to feel safe with butterflies in my stomach or perhaps dangerously in L. that is beside the point, the point is, jaded was the key to how it lead me thinking about where the hell do i go from here. jaded was a no-no back then.
but right now, jaded feels right. jaded feels right. jaded feels safe.
jaded feels like my 3inches shell is strong enough right now.
/edit.
friday night with luge rides, legs hanging down fearful of the most dreaded thing, the slippers falling off, some orange pineapple juice with sounds to kill and a dress i'll never ever wear again perhaps.
lets stop the ice from getting thinner.
